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Lonely

There have been a few times in my life when I have felt acutely lonely. The first was in year 11 at boarding school. A new girl had started and because she was allocated a bed in my cubicle I befriended her. We quickly became firm friends, spending all our time together and laughing a lot. Some time during that year it was discovered that her older brother had been to the school a few years before and had been part of the popular group. Mysteriously this made her part of this group and while my new friend was consumed by it, I was left on the outer. This exclusion zone was so pervasive that no one in the boarding house spoke to me for the rest of the year.

Fortunately, I was enrolled in computer studies and could take refuge in the computer room as soon as breakfast was consumed and after school until dinner began. In this mostly male environment I was popular in a weird outsider way. I have always thought of those boys as my saviours from loneliness. When I told my daughter this story she said "so you were a nerd Mum" and I thought yes I was, yes I still am, but mostly I thought about how NERDS are KIND. It's the compassion of outsiders to the vulnerable.

This experience of loneliness was a major building block to learning empathy and compassion. So whilst it was a horrible experience, I am retrospectively grateful to have endured this period of deliberate unkindness.

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Mindsettle acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we operate on across Australia and reminds people that we are on Aboriginal land. Mindsettle also acknowledges the Elders and in particular those visiting this website.

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